I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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