Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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