lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
