Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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