i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
