The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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