Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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