fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
