is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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