In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
