Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
