I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
