ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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