my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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