im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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