summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
