the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
