How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
