Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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