she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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