you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hippo gnu deer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
