Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
