Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize