Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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