I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
