Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
