she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
