New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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