I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
