I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
