She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
