I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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