well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
