I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
