4 words: hood of his car
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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