I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
