he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize