i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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