When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize