I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
