Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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