Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
