So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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