he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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