do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
