I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
