New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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