i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
