You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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