How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
