Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
