Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
