wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
