Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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