I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
