While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
