Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
