yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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