You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
