When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
