I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
