Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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