Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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