I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
