Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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