I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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