Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
