sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
