im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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