I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
