It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I AM VODKA MAN
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
