if i can run in heels then i can drive
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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