Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
